Tomorrow

Tomorrow marks my 1 year anniversary.
I know people celebrate this and count the days, weeks, months, years that they live this way.
I can clearly remember getting the voicemail and the e-mail at the same time from my GI doctor telling me that my biopsy and genetic test came back positive.  I was training a dietetic intern at work and found out the news a year ago last week.  I think (hope) I acted professionally.

I still have my ups and downs, that's for sure and I will not deny that I still throw myself a pity party.

I have so so so many people in my life who have been so supportive.  Multiple listening ears and a lot of people who validate how hard this is for me. So many loved ones (family friends coworkers) who have gone the extra mile for me-yes ME!  I don't feel I deserve it and sometimes I even feel ridiculous that people would make that extra effort so I can eat with them.  One of my closest reminds me that when she goes that extra mile for my gluten free diet "I only do it once in a while, not every day".  I hope it is worth it to them to see me eating, indulging and enjoying.  I hope everyone knows how grateful I am.  I appreciate every single effort.

I have only been truly "glutened" once.  I was told a pizza was gluten free, and later that night was called to tell me the pizza was not gluten free, but instead low carb. No wonder it tasted so good.  I found out that it affects me 1.5 days later.

Things that have changed:
No beer-I have become much more of a wine drinker
Andy and I do not eat out as often and when we travel our meals and snacking are much different.
I'm happy if a restaurant has 1 gluten free option, where as in the past I loved looking at a menu
I am not eating any fried foods
I have less gi distress
We now have separate cupboards, slots in the toaster and many different labeled items in the fridge.
When we cook, we dirty a lot more pans. 
Andy bakes for me and has been successful

Things that have not changed:
I am not less tired
My hair did not get thicker
I am still frustrated that Andy and I cannot spur of the moment stop to eat or share food
I am sad that Eli keeps asking why I am eating something different.  He is starting to hear and understand that there are many things that mom can't eat because she has a funny stomach.
I still crave gluten-full foods
I haven't made a good effort to bake gluten free
I still have the best husband in the world. Listens to me complain randomly (probably about 1 x/month) about what I miss, what I crave and why it's hard. He also attempts to bake gluten free and is successful. He is better than me at watching cross contamination. He (mostly) never eats foods in front of me that he knows I would be sad about.  He pushes me forward with motivational blurbs when I need it.  He doesn't complain when I make something gluten free and he always (always!) says "that's not that bad".

The foods that I miss are all foods I shouldn't eat that much of:
white cupcakes with frosting, kit-kat bars, white long john donut, soft/hot pretzel, ramen noodles or basic miss grass soup, french fries

Foods that I'm eating more of now:
rice, quinoa, humus, peanut butter, chex cereal, sweet potatoes, snickers

My favorites:
Pasta: Tinkyada
Bread: Udi's, Rudi's, Schar, Molly's bakery bread-french style
French fries: Stack'd Restuarant (also a great burger)
Chips and Salsa: Jose's
Macaroni and Cheese: Annie's frozen gf
Chinese: PF chang's or Japanese hibachi (if I bring my own soy sauce)
Out to eat: Quick: Chipotle
Treats: Molly's "twinkie" and Molly's Mexican Wedding Cookies
Alternative to white long john: white frosting on Trader Joe's frozen waffles (how healthy!)
Baking Mix: Better Batter

I still love my pickles, cucumbers, fruits/veggies, popcorn and buttered noodles.  Because I've found a good type of noodle-I can survive.  I still don't have my head wrapped around this idea that this is forever.  I have contemplated having a "cheat day" but Andy and I decided this would be a possibility in the future and not something that I would/should do when I'm pregnant or breast feeding.  I am hopeful that being gluten free has allowed this baby to grow nice and strong so we can take him/her home right from the hospital.  I also hope that I don't/didn't pass the gene on to him/her or Eli.  It is what it is. I live with it every day-in different ways than you, he, she or someone else might. 

But 1 year.
Go me.